2 months

When I came here, I was captivated. The peacefulness, the otherworldly landscape made it all feel a bit like a dream. Then the reality of being stuck in the middle of nowhere in a suffocating small "family business" situation hit me and for a while I was quite of a mess, there was a lot of anxiety and some issues started popping up. 

Right now, after 2 months, I’m still moved by the beauty of this land. I appreciate that I am able to work here with something I’m passionate about which is cooking. I’m also grateful that this whole experience allows me to rethink some things about my life and inspires me to make new plans for the future. With all this in mind, it’s so much easier to accept and overcome some drawbacks and obstacles I'm encountering. There are moments when I’m thinking that I should give up and maybe go back to Poland sooner than at the end of July. But it all passes. 

I guess it’s important to allow yourself to feel everything, the whole spectrum of emotions we have as human beings. For me, it gets tricky, cause at times I feel as though I’m on an emotional roller-coaster and the intensity overwhelms and confuses me. Here, I can observe all of those thoughts and emotions arising inside of me more clearly, without being pulled away from myself by the outside world. Cause it’s so easy to get out of touch with yourself while living in the city with all of its speediness and distractions.

Here you have to face everything head-on, cause there’s nowhere to run, not so many things to distract yourself with. Basically you’re stuck with yourself and you have to work with what you have. 

Everything is so unpredictable and changeable here. I’m watching the ocean, how it changes along with the weather. Sometimes calm, sometimes agitated. Sometimes the wind comes and blows everything away. After couple of hours it passes, the air gets warm and you can lie down in the sun on the mossy grass, enjoy the moment. 

This is how life is and I have to let go of the urge to have everything under control. Some things I can control, but most of them I just can’t and I need to accept this.